Just in Time for Halloween: Some Very Scary Audio

I’m not the horror movie type, but I have heard my share of very scary audio.

And I’m not talking about “War of the Worlds.”

Just in time for Halloween “fright night,” here are six terrifying breaks guaranteed to give you the chills.

Read on at your own risk…

Attack of the Me Monster

Masquerading as a “shared experience,” this talent break morphs into an ever-growing “this is all about me” monster which has more “I’s” (eyes) than a dragonfly. The tension builds as listeners frantically attempt to escape before the Me Monster explodes in a fit of self-importance.

Torture by List

Loaded with an arsenal of “facts,” this talent first lulls the listeners into numbness and then into comas before finally concluding the torture by starting a long stop set.

Confusion Delusion

A would-be storyteller gets totally lost in his own verbiage resulting in panic on the listeners’ part when they falsely believe that they have lost their ability to make sense of simple conversations. Fortunately a kindly stranger comes to the rescue repeating, “It’s not your fault. No one can figure out what this guy is talking about.”

The Exploding Brain

Every bit as horrifying as it sounds. A diabolical announcer drones on with an overwhelming amount of unnecessary details that flood listeners’ brains causing their grey matter to bloat and their heads to explode. Only a few survive. They were able to  hit the off button before it was too late.

Zombie Tsunami

This twisted plot stars the fiendish Robbie Robotic who lulls listeners into zombie-like trances by opening every single break in exactly the same way he has for the past 17 years.

Something Familiar This Way Comes

Listeners become convinced that they have already heard before everything that’s being said today. The diabolical plot twist is – they have! Like maybe 150 times because no one has updated the promo since last January.

Hopefully all this tongue-in -cheek scary audio won’t result in Halloween nightmares for you. Of course if you’re into terrifying tales like these, feel free to share here.

That is, if you dare…

Happy Halloween from A&O&B.